A freshman would come runnin screamin’ FIGHT every interval

Buckland got baked, tried to throttle the principal

Colleges munched our First XV in their mandibles

Dean got his milf mum to buy us alcohol

Eddie Haggis got a changing room hiding that bent his spectacles

Falani was the only Tongan respectable and not g’d up in the whole school

Giant Islanders got us scared enough to scratch swastikas onto toilet stall walls

Handball on black ice, July, soggy socks steam, noses dribble

I’d skip maths and do some acting in the sick bay, unmissed, invisible, while

Johnny Rabies got smashed by halfcaste Mac during basketball

Karl from Cashmere, went the story, at a party, kicked a bottle up a goth’s arsehole

Lighter burns and hatin gays kept you normal

Mitch broke a huge ginge’s nose against the home ec room wall

Nigger Whomper was written on the softball bat that cracked Taniela’s skull

Other schools lent us their infamous kids to sample

Parties at Pavarotti’s pad, rootin on a rug to Limp Bizkit, pukin on the lawn, passin round the spottle

Quals were just more paper when we ran outta Rizzlas to roll

Russell broke the two years’ difference dating rule, busted dozens of trusting cherries, irreparable

Suicidal girls got self-esteem if they gave their hymens to Nathaniel, our rep on student council

Trin got done for home invasion on the last day of school

Under the fort, kneeling in the bark, we swapped sticky dick-tips for nipples

We were free

to eXpel ourselves, see, the BOT had no muscle

Years 9 to 12, lonely blazers on overturned soccer goals, five years of acting invincible, waiting for the bell

Zazzif school was secondary, everybody couldn’t wait to get king-hit or miss a period so he/she had a story to tell.